integrate ♥

lost my place.

2008-07-20T19:39:00.000+08:00

You have everyone else
& I'm used to it.

ran ran ran away.

2008-07-20T00:51:00.003+08:00

Enough tears. I'm moving away.
& I will say a million goodbyes cause everything has turned into perfunctory courtesy.

Maybe I've bothered bout others too much.
I should start to treat myself nicer.
Better.

I won't be back. At least not here.

2008-07-20T00:38:00.001+08:00

I can't seem to find anyone anymore.

2008-07-20T00:10:00.004+08:00

I hate the "me first me first" thing on such occasions.
I'd love you to take the initiative you asshole.

crumble, crumbling, crumbled.
I'm your cookie not so yummy.

YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME!
Actually, no.
I FEEL CHEATED BY YOU.

indulge in self pity

2008-07-19T21:53:00.012+08:00

I know your eyes in the morning sun
I feel you touch me in the pouring rain
And the moment that you wander far from me
I wanna feel you in my arms again

And you come to me on a summer breeze
Keep me warm in your love and then softly leave
And it's me you need to show

How deep is your love
I really need to learn
'cause we're living in a world of fools
Breaking us down
When they all should let us be
We belong to you and me

I believe in you
You know the door to my very soul
You're the light in my deepest darkest hour
You're my saviour when I fall
And you may not think
I care for you
When you know down inside
That I really do
And it's me you need to show

I forgot to mention that while studying with Jas, I saw some guy waving at me while the artemis fac comm was leaving for jts. & I was like.... "Who's that guy waving at me?!" & Jas was like "GohWeiLeong-GohWeiLeong-GohWeiLeong" and it took me a while before I realised that THAT guy waving at me was LIANGLIANG!!! (I srsly hate my night blindness)
I GOT A BAOBAO! :D Missed plenty.

& HUIJUAN MY DEAR, STOP MAKING THAT LIPSSQUEEZING SOUND. I HATE IT SINCE FOREVER ):
-----
I think I've played too much.
Everything seems so superficial.
I'm tired of playing. & trying to be wary at the same time.

HOW CAN ANYONE IN THE RIGHT FRAME OF MIND ENJOY LIFE LIKE THAT.

Nothing feels real.
In fact, its time consuming, energy draining, cheek aching of smiling and everything that kills your cells.
I'm sick of the pretence. It's like wearing thick make up.

Half the time the world is ending, the truth is I am done pretending. ♥
-----
On one hand, I'm quite glad you don't feel obliged to hang out with me. Or be there for me. Because obligations draw a line, emphasising that emotions are no long genuine. But then again, you won't budge if you don't feel obliged. Right?

I never blamed us for not having time for each other. But it hurt so badly when I realised we've spent our time with others.... Not because we didn't have time for each other but rather, we chose to spent it with others. Whereas for me, I had so much time, I had to spend it on others because everyone was gone.

Do you recall when was the last time you heard me pouring out to you?
Or better still... when was the last time I was the first to be there for you?
I had a choice, but I chose not to
because you had a choice to, but you chose not to.

I really can't figure out the rationale for your choices.
I really don't understand.
But I don't deserve the explanation.
& I just don't understand how you've managed not to realise all this.

Maybe time has eaten you up so bad I'm no longer a compulsory component that keeps you looking forward on your list.
I hope I won't be on you to-do list. Cause that's where we place our get-it-over-and-done-with asap items.

I've read the past posts. It's just a repetition of events in a slightly different manner.
Forget Christmas. Forget April.
Forget it all. Cause I can't feel them anymore

I'll still repeat, saying sorry may be everything.
Whats the point of saying sorry if nothing is done about it?
It doesn't right the near-wrong in anyway.
I know you've tried, please don't feel apologetic, I feel pathetic for us.
Most importantly, figure out what the guilt is for- it might be the wrong issue.

Please don't try to make it up by doing anything.
It would be that it has become an obligation. & I'd feel insulted that things turned out this way.

Initially, I was so hurt, I couldn't even face or speak to you all.
Now, I'm just so numbed and used to it. I can't feel anything.
I just let the empty tears fall.
I remember Greg telling me how much yall love me and never to give up on you guys.

But I'm quite sorry that we've officially lost touch.
We are now in our separate worlds, I have absolutely no idea why.
& I thought best friends stay together forever.
I shan't pin my hopes anymore.

I need you more than ever.
But walking away seems to be an easier choice.
I'd rather we were strangers that knew each other in and out.
Than besties that don't even know each other.

Loved. Majorly.

I never thought that I had anymore to give
Pushing me so far
Here I am without you
Drink to all that we have lost
Mistakes we have made
Everything will change
But love remains the same.

2008-07-19T13:32:00.003+08:00

I thought about it and
you're my little green leprechaun.
I'll find you with my pot of gold at the end of my rainbow.
Known to be ill-natured and mischievous,
I'd love to see you with my four leaf clover.

you cunning little thing.

2008-07-19T10:52:00.003+08:00

I think, I've been thinking so much, I can't think right anymore.
I need my brains right now.
Not my heart.

Anyway, wish myself a speedy recovery.
Throat infection came at a right time, I don't need to force myself to speak to people that prick.

Thursday:
I left school early to do something that took 5 hours. I had to "check" a website and see if it had any errors. If there were errors, I had to email them. It was 700pluspplus errors to check and 5 hours to go. & by 3pm I was already falling asleep.

hearts social work!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
ROSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!

Had dinner at Breeks. Kinda surprise her but it didn't work. Evidently.
Missed those times where everything seemed so different.

RANDOM:

FRIDAY:

HAPPY RACIAL
HARMONY DAYYYYYYY

LINAAAAAAAAAAA........ I WANT THOSE PICTURES.

Besty and I

:D

Nicktan in malay costume.

4o6 gathering. Christabella and Liangzhen playing merry-go-round.

Lainey and I. I hearts her.

Studying with Jasmine. (:

I'm not happy. I just don't understand why.
No one will, even if I open my mouth and speak with my infected throat.

2008-07-18T22:38:00.001+08:00

Reality check: you can't make up for the lost time.

2008-07-17T00:36:00.002+08:00

I think I really hate you.
You're such an inconsiderate and irresponsible jerk.
I can't believe everything has turned out so nasty on my part when it was okay in the first place.

I finally dislike you enough that even the mere sight of you irks me.
To the extent I can't eat my happy dinner.

Freak.

the walls are closing in on you.

2008-07-16T18:59:00.008+08:00

Hey all. Results spells UUSED.
I used what? I don't know what to say.

Haven't been blogging lately cause I haven't been reaching home before 10 these days. & I'm awfully zonked. I reach home only to bathe & sleep. & I'm off to school again the next day.

So, Sunday's pictures from GEMS: Look like fuck because these aren't the ones from Jenlee's and Lina's cameras.

MY SECOND STRIKE: see the fluctuations?

Poon and Junlin racing.

Mingchong no backbone.

Monday:
Awfully tired. CT was wth cause Mrs Tan made us write an essay, or what we deemed as an essay. PE in the rain. It was fundo! I hearts tennis (not as much as netball but enough to make me wanna play more) & we had CHEM cause Mr Tan took over Mr How.

I had to wait 2 hours for Shao Fei before we can go. Watched YDMWTZ at Cine. I tell you its sickly funny (: Not for the innocent and little though. Had dinner at Hip diners and desperately needed to wee on the way home :D

Tuesday:
My entire right hand ached cause of tennis. ): Chemwhored in the morning with sixers and Jiaying gave out Chocolates!. No idea why. I liked Jiaying's book on illustrations of stickman! They had princess and the PEA. Oh, I forgot to bring math notes (& so did Char.) I forgot to bring Chem tutorial (but Char was there to save me) Iodine Clock was happy and nice to us cause we hit 26 oscillations :D

Everyone rushing work. ):

Princess and the PEA.

Besties!

Chocolates!

Nick Tan!

Poonie texting in GP

Went for mentoring at Kentridge. I'm going to die of high blood pressure. But I didn't really like it when conversing with their teacher. When I replied what class I was teaching she said "Oh, it's very tough right? I know they are very difficult." I mean no matter how difficult they are, you shouldn't have that i'm-so-giving-up-on-them-you-can-too face. Huiyi was pissed cause her mentees were being bitches. & we had dinner at Clementi before we went off for RC meeting. We were really early so we camwhored. (:

Evidently, we were given the directions to the wrong location and the guys weren't very gentlemanly. Oh, but the sardinepuff was amazing. I had 3 :D Despite saying no and being really pissed off when people didn't give it to me.

I LOVE SARDINE PUFFS. HOW CAN I NOT HAVE SARDINE PUFFS. (besides the courtesy thing)

Wednesday:
Today was ultimate slack shit cause we were released at 1230. By right it was 1 cause we were activated to support Judo finals at Bedok. BUT, Mr How decided not to have PW and we were released at 1230! That was like only Math, GP and Physics Lecture. Still, I didn't go as I intended to visit my SINSEH and then go for track finals at CCK stadium (which is walking distance from my 家) Had lunch with NickTan before I left :D

Char and I loves! :D HAHA

2008-07-13T22:35:00.003+08:00

I'M AWFULLY TIRED. & I sprained my ankle thrice today.

Anyway, Yongji joined us for tuition today & I was half an hour late. PLUS, I WAS SO SLEEPY that no amount of sweets can wake me up. I rushed to Cathay and I was like EARLIER than Ahjin. Sprained my leg the first time. We walked to the Action Theatre and the play was awesome. :D Really!

Cabbed down to Dover and met SixCs at the station. Walked down to Singapore Poly. 2nd sprain. & yes, it was a long walk in (:. The usual stuffs: pee, choose shoes, introduction. Felix's coach looked like him. Really. & he was very nice. Showed us around. Inclusive of the machine that replaces the pins. He taught us basics and the 4 steps thing and.

I GOT MY FIRST STRIKE IN 17 YEARS! HAHA!
& the 2nd one after that!

Our group won because girls get to have 80 points more!
But I think our group should win Best Improvement group
Junlin should get the Most shocking improvement award.
Jen should get the fastest learner award.
Kenn Siang should get the shutupandgoawayyouownage award.
Mingchong should get the curse&swearenduponyourself award.
Char should get the Gracefulbowler award.
Lina should have the comesolatestillplaysowell award.
Shuhui should have the Idon'tknowwhatI'mdoingbut-I-STRIKE award.

& so on & so forth.

Had dinner at Sunset Way :D Sprained the 3rd time on my way there.

Waiting for pictures :D

double-you tee eff.

2008-07-12T20:45:00.003+08:00

I hate to look out for you in the crowd.
But all it takes from you is one sentence to make my eyes sparkle.

& I never hated you after that. ♥

I NEED TO DO MY WORKIEWORKIE.

BTW, Huiyi's Blk IC and I'm her A.Blk IC.
Jess is Winne's A.Blk IC an that makes Jess and I lazy people.
But that makes Huiyi, Jess and I control 1000 people each in Connect Sg
& Huiyi's going to make me do all that presentaion stuffs.

I think Chief Motivator would be so fun luh, we can totally rah-rah the crowd.
Jess & Huiyi thought that was best for me. But I'm always thoughtful.
HUIYI, I THOUGHT ABOUT HOW LONELY YOU WERE
Anyway, heard 5-1 would be a bunch of kewl shit. So double yay.

Cause there's you & me.

2008-07-12T14:25:00.005+08:00

Rejection is bittersweet.
Past few days have been hectic. I really cant rmbr much cause I just keep blanking out. I was drifting in and out of whatever that was happening in front of me. I realised I was living by the minute, moment and amount of money I have.

& I've always loved that bitter after-taste.
Maybe... maybe that's why I'm addicted.
Anyway, Christabella, Jas and I stayed in school ytd to bitch. & we bitched from 4pm to 10pm. WTH, my cheeks never ached so bad after laughing and my brain cells never died such horrible death after listening to the lies and the outrageous truths (AGAIN). I realised 4o6 always stay together even though we're far apart. Like, the inseparable gang. Weekend will be really busy but whatever. Come what may.

I think love is addictive.But I'm undecisive.
I left Connect early due to some matters to attend to. But I'm so tired I can break into two. Really. I find it hard to talk to you. I feel used. At your beck and call. I'm changing my mind about you. & it's changing really fast. Treat me nicely and maybe I might think twice about you again. You srsly don't deserve it any better than others.

I rmbr telling everyone what I wish for. But now, when I look at the list of what I yearn, there are some stuffs I'd never want.

I hate settling down.
Sometimes, I wonder why I'm made up of both water&fire elements.
I'm my own contradiction.

**Nope guys, I'm just pondering about life & I'm not going to screw up the main component of my life & not let love play me out. I'm not heartbroken. :D

living in a nightmare

2008-07-10T11:49:00.000+08:00

yes, I'm more than slightly demented.

facade

2008-07-09T04:43:00.004+08:00

'Cause it's you and me and all of the people with nothing to do
Nothing to lose
And it's you and me and all other people
And I don't know why, I can't keep my eyes off of you

What day is it?
And in what month?
This clock never seemed so alive.
---

I fear.
There were times where I'd dance in the rain to keep my mouth shut. But I'm in the week where I'll keep my moth shut even if the entire world was talking to me.

Maybe because I can't find the right person to talk to.
Cause someone's no longer here.

In fact, many aren't here anymore.
Or rather, I find it hard to speak to them.

If ~~you~~ I can't get to speak to anyone ~~you~~ I feel like speaking to, ~~you~~ I won't speak.
I don't know what's stopping me from speaking to them. Okay, I know. But I won't do anything about it since they don't feel it as well.

The distance, it's killing me. One day, I'll forget I've ever spoken to you about all my problems, from the guys to the whatsbuggingmecurrently.

If I was like a coin that lost its shine, it wouldn't be a bother.
But I'm like a coin that has lost its value, love.
I fear.

Thanks CK & SH for being nice after I got a pain in the S.
sillybillies wo mei shi de!

where's my pocketful of sunshine?

2008-07-08T19:57:00.005+08:00

I find it so hard to cry.
I wanna run now, but I'm too tired to do so.

真是的！我到底在干么？！
Somone knock some sense into my head.
I want to sew my lips tmr.
I want to walk blindly tmr.
I want to reach home before 12am ~~tmr~~ on thurs and that's highly unlikely cause I have CCmeeting.

Btw, the lift door closed on me just now and so I've a bandaged arm now. FTW.

2008-07-07T23:38:00.002+08:00

Yam & Orange Cake.

My sister refused to walk out of the washroom without powdering. She kept running away from the cam cause she said she looked like fk.

& for the gazillionth time, I'm giving up.

2008-07-07T21:11:00.002+08:00

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane
The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

谢谢你! ♥

messing around after sweet rejection ♥

2008-07-07T11:25:00.008+08:00

No movie for me today cause (my one and only friend, damn right) Shao Fei's not free in the morning and I'm ONLY free in the morning.
That stinks cause I didnt get to watch a movie in ONLYGODREMEMBERSHOWLONG but whatever.

I have like supposedly 7 other dates to attend to:
1. OG: OG OUTING at ECP
2. 406: CRYSTALBALL'S BELATED BIRTHDAY PARTEH at ECP
3. FAMILY: MY PARENTS' DATE WITH MY SISTER AND I at Godknowswhere
4. SOUTH VIEW: SVYA MEETING
5. CCA: YLEP MOVIE OUTING.
6: STUDIES: I need to attend my wedding with GP
7A. BESTIES: Not to mention the very sad fact that besties and I cancelled a date with each other.
7B: LIANGLIANG: busyboy's busy again. Thanks for the call last night. I only felt hungrier.

*NOTE TO SELF: 7A & 7B are rejected dates. So they mark only half a date!

IS YOUTH DAY THE ONLY DAY PEOPLE FROM DIFFERENT PARTS OF YOUR SOCIAL CIRCLE TRY TO GET YOU OUT?
Cause if it is so, I need MORE YOUTH DAYS.

*NOTE TO SELF II
Movies I have to watch:

Get Smart
TWENTY ONE
The happening
The strangers (ohmygod ohmygod I'm dyingggggg to watch please say its good)
Wanted
Don't mess withe the Zohan.
INDIE JONES (if its still there)
HELL BOY 2
THE X-FILES: I WANT TO BELIEVE
The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
Quantum of Solace
Prom Night
I think Penelope might be cool. Considering Reese Witherspoon :D
& I'm so not for High School Musical

I NEED TO MARRY THE GUY WHO SELLS THE TICS.
Then again, I think I have to marry God and trick him into giving me MORE time in a day so that I can marry a ticketing guy that will eventually provide me MORE free tickets so that I can watch MORE movies.

DVDS I have to get:

INDIE JONES! (if its no longer there)
PS I LOVE YOU (I guess the book wasn't enough)
Step up 2: The streets (again! & leave it on repeat mode for the last dance)

The next time we hang out,
I will redeem myself.
My heart, it can't rest till then.

2008-07-07T05:45:00.002+08:00

At such an unearthly time (okay not very unearthly since half the world's about to get up soon but then again very unearthly if you haven't slept), I have officially finished reading Where Rainbows end.

Took me about 5 hours for 3/4 of the book.

& 50 years before they got each other.
I know of that silence. ♥

2008-07-06T23:31:00.003+08:00

I feel like your fucked up burden.
I'm shooing away okay.
Thanks anyway.

It doesn't help that I'm not needed yet you're so very needed.
ARGH wtf.

beck and call.

2008-07-06T16:47:00.002+08:00

Maybe I'm hurt, cause I've outlived my usefulness.
& that you've found someone else.
I'm no longer needed.

2008-07-06T01:39:00.001+08:00

They told him don't you ever come around here
Don't wanna see your face, you better disappear
The fire's in their eyes and their words are really clear
So beat it, just beat it

You better run, you better do what you can
Don't wanna see no blood, don't be a macho man
You wanna be tough, better do what you can
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it
Just beat it, beat it

They're out to get you, better leave while you can
Don't wanna be a boy, you wanna be a man
You wanna stay alive, better do what you can
So beat it, just beat it

You have to show them that you're really not scared
You're playin' with your life, this ain't no truth or dare
They'll kick you, then they beat you,
Then they'll tell you it's fair
So beat it, but you wanna be bad

Just beat it, beat it, beat it, beat it
No one wants to be defeated
Showin' how funky strong is your fight
It doesn't matter who's wrong or right

FALLOUT! ♥ always.

moving on.... ♥ or hanging on ♥ .

2008-07-06T01:01:00.005+08:00

Hey heartbeat, I'm so over you.

Thank you.

my wishful thinking

2008-07-06T00:02:00.003+08:00

The last time I freaked out,
I just kept looking down,
I st-st-stuttered when
You asked me what I'm thinkin' bout.

I went with Huiyi to HAJI LANE. & at 1pm, Haji Lane was a big fat bore. We should have been 3 hours late. Anyway, we walked with empty stomachs to Bugis and grabbed a tiny bite before we headed to Far east. We walked for two hours and got NOTHING except my old new pair of white pointes.

Old cause I have one similar to that. New cause I intend to throw the old one.

HAJI LANE & HUN.

TRYOUTS

I LIKE THIS BAG ALOT. But I don't love it enough to splurge 50 on it.

& we ate at Mogu Mogu which is obviously demonstrating the laziness of our society. Click Click Click and there goes your food. Tsk, we'll be serving machines in due time. Anyway, before we left Huiyi managed to get a top. DRESSES THERE weren't CHEAP. and I DESPERATELY WANTED TO PART WITH MY MONEY FOR SOMETHING I WANTED. It stinks not buying anything when you're out shpping.

We took 171 back to school and my dearest decided to go to school with me. I tell you... there was this irritating woman who totally PUSHED me off the stairs when I was boarding up. Huiyi and I got really pissed and Huiyi saidreally loudly "She just totally pushed you off." and I was like "BITCH" a couple of times. But I think she didn't know we were refering to her.

Bought flowers for ChuanKhim and extra which came really handy cause Aiwen was playing and Jingwei was emcee. :D & I thought Stella Story was cool beans even though their drummer kinda killed the bass drum pedal. & MONICA + AIWEN and Co. AKA KILLJOYS was AWESOME!!

I think I laughed too loud at the little kids that Shao Fei "sssshhhhhhhhh" me ): & some guy in front turned around at me. OH YES, Funk Faction Crew had a really hot guy (in the pink). HAHA he smiled at me okay JING! (I repeat he smiled when I WAS WALKING DOWN THE STAGE not when he was dancing :/)

Little Kids :D

JINGWEI!

STELLA STORY

Something happened when I was talking to Sui cause Jasmine totally blurted IT out like it was nothing. & I went "WTF" at least 10 times. Dragged her with me to have my really late dinner with Shao Fei at KAP. I think Jas is the coolest berry in my life. :D

THE END of today. I need to poop.

2008-07-05T10:51:00.002+08:00

I FORGOT TO MENTION that while restocking my stationery, I got Quekie a "Little Miss Tiny" story book and yay, she loves it (needless to say). I purposely chose TINY so that it suits her.

& she's going to get me a "Little Miss Twins" (whichever it is) and I'm pretending that I don't know. I got so URGHED that I didn't get that book for her cause I dismissed the fact that we are twins and focus on her being small.

Tweetwin loves twitwin majorly.

Maybe I should get one for each of table gang :D

If you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful. ♥

2008-07-05T09:45:00.003+08:00

I miss crying.

Crying then, to me, was just a release of emotions. But I didn't like the attention that everyone gave when I cried. I hated it when people went "it's okay. don't cry", "cry as much as you want" or "cry for what. also no use alr". I loathed the way everyone stared at me cause it only made me feel pathetic and crave for more tears. That was crying when I was sad and angry. Still, crying when I was happy was something that appalled everyone.

I cried when I was happy.
I cried when I was sad.
I cried when I was angry.
I cried when I was sleeping.
Crying like breathing to me.

I cried to let go of whatever that was bugging me and killing my days.
But nothing gets settled that way cause if crying could do so, I'd be crying my way to college rather than studying.

I miss crying not because I miss being sad, I miss it cause I find it hard to release my emotions now. Each time I get frustrated, happy or sad, I don't cry anymore. & that sucks. Now, whenever something hard hits me or when reality smacks me hard in the face, I just settle the problems and forget about the emotions. I don't want to live my life numb. I'd rather disappear than never release my emotions again.

I want to cry. Really.

& remember me tonight, when you're asleep.

BEAT ITTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT I ♥ FALLOUT!

2008-07-04T21:17:00.004+08:00

Hey world.
As much I desperately want to cry my eyes till I go blind. I can't.
As much I totally need to burst and die, I can't.
As much I wanna bum around, I can't.
As much I should get up and walk around, I can't.

I wish I could cry, at least I'd feel a gazillion times better.
---
Yesterday:
Anyway, ytd I carried my purple crumpler (yes like finally after not seeing it for 6 months) and I asked Char to carry her orange crumpler too! & I took photos of our bags. :D The concoction of yam and orange (: Hongyao really believed us when we said we made Yam&Orange cake :/

Then I bought tw boards for Shuhui's birthday WHICH I FORGOT TO BRING HOME. & HAD TO RUSH HOME TO GET ANOTHER TWO MORE BOARDS. While doing so, I managed to restock my stationery. GUESS WHAT I DID AFTER THAT, I ran 6 rounds around my park. 360 x 6 = 2160m. I find it really weird. Cause, I can never drag myself to run even 2 rounds. But I just went on and on cause I couldn't cry out.

I cried while running. & I didn't want to stop running.

I did both of Shuhui's boards till 4.30am. & I freakking cut two of my fingers that it made a pretty straight line because my penknifing skills are just marvellous. It wasn't easy.

Today:
I bought the cake to school made Wayne give out the paper hearts (that I painstakingly cut) to everyone in class and had them write their lovewishes to Shuhui. I think Shuhui kinda noticed so I gave a paperheart to Shuhui and lied to her, saying she had to write to Charmaine. & I told Shuhui that I lied to Charmaine that she had to write to you. I mean, it felt like double scam but my Shuhui totally took it in.

The worse part was when she asked me in the middle of practical by shouting across the room.
Shuhui: Aye.... you know the waffle right. Can spread the thing on one side or two side?
Pea: Hurrrr. usually you buar the thing one side then fold what...
Shuhui: Noooo, this waffle can buar one side or two side.
Pea: OH...... one side only luh... Buar two sides cannot eat alr!

Shuhui was talking about the paperheart. Whether it can be written on both sides or one side of the paper only. Ohmytian.

So, we kinda rushed pasting the paper hearts and yes! we made it with our cake as we walked towards that stupid girl in the canteen.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SHUHUI.
HEARTS YOU PLENTY-MORE-TO-COME.

GP today and Char had music blasting for her laptop. "No air" was being played and I thought I head Hongyao asking something.

Hongyao: Who's playing the song?
Pea: (I thought he said what song is this?) No Air
Hongyao: Where's the song coming from?
Jen: Charmaine
Pea: No air.
Hongyao: Who's playing the song?
Jen: Charmaine.
Pea: NO AIR. NO AIR!!!!! WTH!!!! Say so many time alr!
Jen: (with that really really really weird face) He's asking who's playing that song... not what song is it.

My face went red. AGAIN. & he couldn't stop making fun about me and that "I'm so hot" incident. WTH!

Oh yeah, Sui, Yi and I kinda rushed the second birthday board for Shuhui. Which was mainly the 207'05 birthday board for her! & the encouragement for her elections today! The stupid thing was Huiyi and I rushed from YLEP's GM to attend Elections. & we kinda forgot to call Sui? So like, the two of us were there listening to people and holding Shuhui's board really unglamly. AND I TOTALLY FORGOT THAT THE ENTIRE THING WAS THE THREE OF US.

& I gave Shuhui the present without Sui. Oh hate me please. Lifern and I were like kinda drawing on our voting slips cause we were really confused and couldn't make up our mind.

I FINALLY PAYED LIJIE 10BUCKS.

Then I met Greg for dinner and we went to PS for Sakae & Gelare for dessert. Oh well, I saw someone -.- at the busstop. I'm effing screwed cause I can't trust his mouth. & yes I miss greggreg ((:

I'm going INSPIRE TMR WITH JASMINE!

Points to note!

I shan't play with you cause I'm not sure if you're just playing.
I don't like you luh. Wah lau.
Then again, you're nice (I thinkkkkkkkk)
Forget, I rather not take the risk.
I feel bad, broke, boisterously-fat.

♥ the importance of the important people

2008-07-02T23:05:00.001+08:00

ohmycoolbeans. everyone on my important list is online.

2008-07-02T21:53:00.003+08:00

OHMYGOD. I double-confirmed his attachment.
I feel so urgh-eeeedddd >(
WHAT HAPPENED TO PEAPEA.
Now, worry bout matters that deserved to be worried bout. LIKE FRIDAY.
If there's anything I feel like now,
it's the fact I feel like dying. [I NEED TO DECIDE NOW. LIKE NOW]

a slight srew missing.

2008-07-02T18:12:00.005+08:00

I'm at page 131 of Where rainbows end and as much as I would LOVE to continue reading it, I'm afraid I have to start on my work. Oh well, I think I've spotted her style of writing alr.
Storms before calm before storms :D But I can't bring myself to cry and laugh cuse I didn't put enough emotions while reading the first 30 pages before napping.

Did I mention I rewarded myself by taking a day off today?
No, I didn't blatantly get drunk to deserve that.
I felt fat eating a whole bowl of yupianmifen. & apparently Jas & Karene dedicated the entire script to me since I wasn't in school with them.
Bet they missed me majorly.

While I'm still very amused at my screw-up on emceeing 2 days ago,
totally pouring over my dreams and aspirations,
enlightening myself with the what-should-haves and could-haves,
pondering over decisions I have to make within 24 hours,
deciding if my time management is warped,
I HAVE TO/OUGHT TO/MUST/SHOULD/NEED TO snap back to reality & get back on track with my oh-so-down-to-earth-i-really-can't-believe-i'm-studying-like-fuck-in-hc life.

Results tmr. No worries.
SUUSU. If I can even get an S.
MAJOR LOVES PEEPS. I think I'll love my grades.

in parts: in numbers: in sequence. my brain in order.

2008-07-01T22:08:00.005+08:00

NUMBER 1: I'M STILL UPSET JAS TOLD ME I GREW FATTER.

NUMBER 2: I REALISED SHE (might be) IS ATTACHED. HAHAHAHHA. I DON'T KNOW WHY I'M HAPPY. I REALLY DUNNO. BUT IM DAMN HAPPY LUH.

NUMBER 3: WTFFFFFFFFFFFFF. ): HE'S ATTACHED. I'M not that DEPRESSED.
BUT I HAVE THAT TINGED OF SADNESS!

NUMBER 4: I NEED TO START MY WORK AGAIN.

NUMBER 5: I WANNA DROP OUT. YADAHHHHHHHHHHHH.

DIETDIETDIETDIET. EOMEOMEOMEOM.
GPGPGP. MACLAURINSMACLAURINS (YES WTH I HAVEN'T DONE IT).
REACTIONKINETICSREACTIONKINETICS.
SHMSHMSHM. PSYCHO!

thank you ♥

2008-07-01T18:40:00.007+08:00

I love wandering about
while wondering about love.
We scribbled that on the board.

We were in the sabbaticals and it was more boring than we thought. Karene, Jas and I were like totally falling asleep and Karene started doodling on my paper.

Then, Jas and I started dooding.
Pea: I'm the next big thing.
Jas: I'm already the big thing.
Pea: -.-

Jas: YOU REALLY GREW FATTER AS COMPARED TO IN NANYANG
Pea: :(
I'M SO DEPRESSED. I'M SO DEPRESSED. I'M EFFING DEPRESSED. NA BEI.

----
I keep thinking about it. There's actl no reason for me to be upset.
I feel funny.
As in, I don't really like you.
Like, like you that kinda like.
It's more like the I feel like talking to you kinda like.

It's that picky kinda like.
The like that changes at different times of the day.

I think. You'll be in my head for sometime.
But no, I don't like enough to love you.
Thank God.

I still like the part where I try figure out whats on your mind.
Without having a clue in the first place.

Yesyes, I wished you'd talk to me about it.
Then again, I'm happy as the silent keeper.
想通了的感觉真好

Meanwhile, I'm glad I can draw a line amidst this flow of raw emotions.
I am really happy that I have been very productive in my work while going emo :D

When they flock to you in many. ♥

2008-06-30T21:14:00.006+08:00

The entire day was ogay except one thing that screwed it up.
No. Maybe, that was the one thing that made my day but later screwed it up.
Well, at least I'm done with it.
Btw, I saw the girl who fancies you too. Uhhh yes, I said she was pretty the first time I saw her.

How'd you like being a sheepdog.
Always protecting this flock of sheeps.
Yet falling for the only one who always wander the furthest,
& never seems to come back despite running towards it.

I puked my tea through my nose and the bread through my mouth right after morning assembly and I never felt so sick in my life.

It's always SO FUN to be backstage cause you have effing no idea what the emcees and backstage people are doing. Shao Fei and I were totally competing to see who would screw up the most. It was as if we were daring each other to screw up this event.

YES, Shaofei said that Felix commented on our height difference. I hate that guy and his hushpuppiesshoes.

There was one part where we had to come out individually and just before I was to come out and introduce Prozo, Shao Fei asked me to go up without my script. Which I eventually did and screwed up for the entire 2 sentences. It was just two sentences and I felt so kiampa-ish. I went back behind the curtains and started cursing and I made him go up without his script too. But he did awfully fine because he had 5+1+8+2= 16 minute to memorise his script.

Oh, not the very best cause he broke out laughing when he walked out :D

& there were laods of screw ups towards the end of the 2nd half. But Liangliang and Yongji managed to take it really well. I was impressed when I realised they changed A LARGE part of the script on stage itself. AT LEAST, I got to play with Shao Fei's Iphone for a pretty short while. THAT GUY was so excited in ~~banging the bell~~ (okay sounds wrong). He was so excited in ringing the bell, he rung it ONE minute earlier. But that group went ahead of time for like 2 minutes anyway.

Mrs Tan went out of sorts and started making classes take attendence before leaving again. The best part was when she decided to play lucky draw and pick classes to see if the number of students tallied with the attendance records. AND the worse part was when she said "MY EMCEES ARE GOING TO COUNT THE NUMBER OF PEOPLE" and Mdm Tengara made Weileong count the first class. Mrs Tan asked Shao Fei to pick the 3rd class and we were like "OH MAHNNNN"

I FORGOT TO CHANGE THE LIGHTING OF MY CAM. & I DUNNO HOW :(

Shao Fei admitted to eating my pencil ):
[HELLO SHAOFEI I KNOW YOU'RE READING THIS]

lost the reflex to resist.

2008-06-30T00:11:00.005+08:00

I ♥ HUIYI MAJORLY.
CAUSE SHE CALLED
TO COMFORT ME.
& made me realise that you really suck. :D

2008-06-29T22:56:00.002+08:00

Quit playing games with my heart
Before you tear us apart
Quit playing games with my heart
I should've known from the start

I HATE YOU. I SWEAR I REALLY DO.
WHY THE FUCK WERE YOU BORN IN THE FIRST PLACE?
TO MAKE MY LIFE MISERABLE?

HAHA. incoherent again. (:
WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME.

2008-06-29T19:39:00.002+08:00

I got my where rainbows end from kino.
& phyl's getting my Rock&Muse by Miss Sixty from DFS.

phyphy's coming back tmr!
I can hardly wait.
But I've waited 6mths.
So, what's another 12 hours?

crushcrushcrush ♥

2008-06-29T19:00:00.004+08:00

I hate it when people get me really excited and then,
throws me back to sq one.

Ohhhhhhh, tmd. ~~I'm not hurt.~~
I'm too hurt to say I'm not hurt.

---
That was the last straw. Really.

Tuesday, October 24 2006 [idyllicmisery.blogspot]
I shouldn't be thinking of you now cause I have a million&one things to start in my hands. You should be my last priority. Just like how I was yours. No, wait. You shouldn't even be on my to-do list cause I haven't even been on yours for 6 weeks. You shouldn't be on my mind, in my way.

But I don't deny I would love to have you in my mind for a second, once more.

You know, I don't play hide&seek cause I see no fun in seeking someone I can no longer find.

& hate repeats. Just like history.---
Don't stop here
I lost my place
I'm close behind

oh dear, what can the matter be.

2008-06-29T10:53:00.002+08:00

I feel like playing for NYCB.
But I can't.

Cause I can't do percussion anymore.

but it's over now, go on a take a bow ♥

2008-06-29T01:14:00.007+08:00

I switched off my phone cause the world wasn't very nice today.
I wanted to make blogskin but my head started thinking in parts again.
I think it'll remain like this for sometime.

Until I get over it.

While I quit being your pesky bitch,
I hope you do your part in staying out of my mind.

---
pearlynne//&♥:
i feel like taking back the stuffs i got for *** from overseas
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
HAHAHAHA
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
imagine the situation
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
it'll be damn funny
pearlynne//&♥:
"i want my stuffs back from overseas thank you"
pearlynne//&♥:
"oh yes. by tmr!"
pearlynne//&♥:
HAHAHAHHA
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
HAHAHHA
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
IMAGINE *** REACTION
eleyeeneeh. DINALI NAOMI'S STALKEEEEEEEEE:
LOLOLOL

** privacy of ***.
wtf. I'm just hiding it for my benefit & that it won't hurt much.

2008-06-28T20:24:00.000+08:00

I'm lying in my bed all alone
Called you once again
No one is home
It's raining outside
On Saturday night
Turning out the light
Again I try

My friends say I'm too good
Too good for you
And maybe that is true
Well I don't care
What do they all know?
They got it all wrong
This is so unfair
They're playing our song.

Nobody gets too much heaven no more
It's much harder to come by
I'm waiting in line
Nobody gets too much love anymore
It's as high as a mountain
And harder to climb.

-Something's going on
What is wrong?
I want you to be here
Why don't you come?
And spend sometime with me
Can't you see?
How we come undone
Is this the end of our song?

2008-06-28T16:11:00.002+08:00

I'm effing tired after a day of unforeseen circumstances.
Very tired.
But, was very enjoyable.
♥

I'm getting tired of you pushing me 'round
Dragging me down
Making a sound because you wanna
I guess that's why I like messing with you
Putting you through
A lesson or two, because I'm gonna
Before I go my own way
I just gotta say

Leave me alone
Get out of my face
I'm tired of love
Feeling so misplaced
Time for you to go
'Cause I know I'm better off on my own, oh
Leave me alone

-This isn't gonna work
Don't call me on the phone
Because I'm all out of words
I'll face the unknown
Thinking about all the ways that I've grown
Oh, Leave me alone

-There was the time I thought you were the one
Having some fun
Getting it done
What an illusion
'Cause you were trying to take control of me
That couldn't be, I need to be free of this confusion
Don't give me a guilt trip, because I'm so over it

Don't turn around and don't look back
I see right through all your selfless acts

If you win your love
I'll feel better on my own
Leave me alone
The Veronicas.

2008-06-28T00:30:00.002+08:00

I wanna enrol myself in camps.
idontknowwhat camps but I just want to!

I like that whole surreal thing in the camp.
Cause the world still revolves and yet you're not part of that world you used to be in.

But I hate the part where they break camp and poof,
hello world.

outlived my usefulness ♥ no more.

2008-06-27T22:45:00.012+08:00

So anyway, Chem was easypeasy just that stoichio spoiled it all. BUT, stoichio was 3/4 the paper. Sooo, goodbye chem. At least I knew what I was doing & I didn't spend time stoning and thinking if I should leave stupid answers on the paper while waiting for time to REALLY pass.

Like for physics and math.

Didn't feel the liberation after blocks and I had no intention to celebrate but to go home and sleep. Met Weileong and we just randomly sat on a class bench (which so happened to be Jiawen's) and starting talking. & when Jiawen came and displayed her outdated knowledge of my life, we couldn't help laughing. That's before besty decided to pangseh her friends for me. Major loves.

We kinda chitchatted in the quadrangle with 4o6 and Juan again while people were playing frisbee. Hah, and we made hell lot of noise before Sui and I decided to head to town while the rest were still making up their minds.

We decided to eat DELIFRANCE because we missed luxurious dining but had to go budget. That was cause we had to cover the expenses of A NUMBER OF PRESENTS for july babies.

Fox ((:

We went around Mango (SALES) after eating and Fox (SALES). Guess (HAVING SALES & WE WERE EXTREMELY PLEASED WITH OUR PURCHASE :D). & I had to go Taka to check out the price of a Braun Buffel wallet which evidently wasn't on sales anymore ): PLAYED WITH MISS SIXTY PERFUME which I am DYING TO GET the Rock Muse one. Sui liked the Elixir and she totally sprayed the perfume into my face.

Oh we managed to get a budget gift for someone. & we felt really bad. So we decided to top it off with a keychain which was, TO OUR HORROR, TWICE THE PRICE OF THE GIFT. HAHA.

We ♥ splurging.
Really.

Walked to Wisma cause we needed to get another gift and NO MORE PICTURES CAUSE I LOOK FUGLY IN THE REST OF THE FITTING ROOMS.

-
Today:
I came to school really early today. Don't ask me why. & I had no lunch buddies. I was totally intending to starve when Huijuan decided to pangseh her canoemates for me (since she would be late for he workshop if she watched a movie). & we kindadragged JonQuek, Linky and Chai to NY in which we evidently got KICKED OUT cause those guys were GUYS.

Had lunch at poolside with Juan, Linky and JonQuek and we were discussing bout disgusting stuffs and plenty of horrors. Discovered scandals, truths and lies. I'M HORRIFIED & MORTIFIED. I couldn't believe my ears. Well, I met NickTan, and a couple of others before I really sat to speak to BKoh, Justi & Karene.

& there was this really cute toy on Bkoh's bench that went: "mwaaaaaaaaaahhhhhs. I love you". Did I mention that I heard MORE STUFFS and I couldn't believe my ears. Oh yeah, I fucking cried.

Fooled arond until everyone decided to go before JonQuek and I started playing with my laptop. Then Shuhui came and I made JonQuek walk me to the Audi TWICE.

Cause I was too afraid.

Rehearsal was blabberish: Shao Fei and I had to borrow blazers for Yongji and Weileong. Then we made JonQuek OPEN the welfare room. Apparently, after he opened, he had plenty of customers. I sat there waiting for Shao Fei and I think I totally killed JonQuek's phone camwhoring. Plus Shao Fei was complaining bout his deposit.

After all the long draggy stuffs, we ended near 8pm. Liangliang and I took a loooonnnnng time to decide where to eat. :D Which we eventually chose LOT1 & we were fed full.

I think the conversation with Mrs Tan before we left was very funny. Cause she asked Liangliang and I how long we knew each other and we were thinking.
Then I showed her four fingers.

& she was like: "SO LONG?"
& I was like: "FOUR YEARS! NOT SINCE WE WERE FOUR!"
Then she said something like "yeahhhh I know. You thought I think you guys are (something something something in CHINESE)"

& I looked at Weileong with that 'translation please' look and asked him what it means. He said something like "direct translation. It means childhood sweethearts".

I immediately turned back to Mrs Tan and I was like "NONONONONO!!!!". :O

Wl: "ehhh... why the straw so short." If people didn't know you well, people'll take you as a himbo.

EAT and EAT.

I was so fulll ):

I started camwhoring with his cuckoophone which is more cuckoo than a pager. Oh, he was very nice by playing along and putting my pic as his background and I predicted that it'll be off by tmr (:

Thank you liangliang. Major loves as well.

Everything is F'ed up straight from the heart
Tell me what do you do, when it all falls apart
Gotta pick myself up where do I start
'cause I can't turn to you when it all falls apart
No

After I've retrieved it, its ending.
I've lost faith. Srsly.
& I'm really really really giving up.

The entire world supports me & my decision.
& I realised there are alot others who love me more than you do.
Those who definitely appreciate me more than you do.
goodbye love.

2008-06-25T23:04:00.001+08:00

nope. I feel inferior. thankyou.

2008-06-25T21:48:00.001+08:00

it's clear.
I've already given up.

2008-06-25T21:15:00.001+08:00

我要去动物园
我要去沙滩
我要哭
我要.

1 more.

2008-06-25T19:18:00.005+08:00

!. Well, today.
I found out something that threw me off my feet for about 3 mins.
Don't worry. I'm not hurt.
Just too pleasant a surprise.

@. I lost 2 kg after all that puking and shitting. I need my doctor.

#. It's hard not to.

$. Blocks hasn't been really (idk wat to say) nice. With each paper I just feel worse and I can't seem to get my confidence back.

I guess I'm afraid I won't do well cause I'm not feeling my best. As in, its the first time in my life I actl feel like a sickpig during exams. & I just keep adding pressure to myself cause of that.
Imagine walking to the exam hall thinking whether you'd puke or if you'd lose consciousness half way or if the pain just comes back suddenly.

It's like, half the fight's gone with my worries and the fact that I keep thinking I'm sick.
& definitely, I'm not putting in my best.

I don't want to tell myself its okay to screw up blocks cause I'm not feeling well.
Isn't it evident that its a big fat excuse just to console myself?

I felt like crap after econs cause I had no idea what I was writing. & I just went on with GP and Physics with that I-WANT-TO-GO-HOME-CAUSE-I-REALLY-DON'T-FEEL-WELL thought in my head. & naturally I felt like shit after physics paper cause it was screwed up majorly and there was nothing I can do. & today, I was doing Math thinking "Just do what you can, minimise the magnitude of screwedness."

I didn't think math was tough. But I blanked out after a while.
I don't even think I can get an S.

Tell me why the fight was over even before it started.
I can't put it down. Really.

%. I don't want to be my disappointment.

^. I hope my grades even spells SEEDS rather than SUUSU

&. I'm looking at you through the glass
Don't know how much time has passed
Oh, god it feels like forever
But no one ever tells you that forever
Feels like home sitting all alone inside your head

*. I wish I could cry. I think I'd feel wayyyyy better.

3 down. 2 to flop.

2008-06-24T22:02:00.001+08:00

& yes, I shan't look out for you anymore.
Major loves.

Hide and seek but I'm looking out. ♥

2008-06-24T21:50:00.003+08:00

affairs of the heart.
tantalising.
sickly awesome.

bittersweet game.
find me a hideout.

choice of words, pearlynne. choice of words. ♥

2008-06-24T17:19:00.002+08:00

I totally felt like puking. Majorly.
Before the start of GP that I was so tempted to just go home.
Like someone by the name of ChiamHongYao.
I guess Jen, Xinyi and Shuhui were like so freaked out when they saw the way I felt like puking.
& Shuhui even asked if I wanted to force myself to puke.

I think my body's rejecting food.
What should I do.

I guess GP was like in and out cause I just wrote whatever I felt like writing without even bothering bout my thesis statement and I talked bout stuffs from talkingcock.com to tataric.blogspot.com. & I didn't even make my point.

So when I got out of gp exam, I met Jas, Quekie, Yongji and Liangzhen but eventually sat down to study with only Jas. It was plain useless. & I felt pukish all over again. Chengcheng gave me a hug and said my temperature was slightly high. Oh well. I heart my mortal anyway.

We were pretty fooling around with the Physics teacher who was really funny. & Wilson was VERY MEAN. She was like "Whose calculator have I not checked?" and he took his scientific calculator and raised his hand. & Poonie was being an ass too.

So I did physics paper II and I was like knn. I skipped every question and eventually figured that I had ample time to screw up. I was freakking out when I noticed Poon shaking his leg and flipping his pages slowly. & I was like, dude must be in the same boat as me. Happy family.

& my handwriting was like fucktard. In the end, I showed Poon my blank pages and he flipped to me his blank pages. It was very funny. Wayne was showing me his dead look and Shuhui gave me a very convincing nod.

Then 406 kinda gathered with Huijuan as well in the middle of godknowswhere to scream about the paper in which I left 6pages blank.
Okay math now. Thanks Jasmine for teaching me Maclaurins.

1 down, 4 more to screw up. ♥

2008-06-23T23:45:00.002+08:00

I find last year's blocks for physics really really really tough.
but char and others think its do-able.
oh nooooooo ):

screw physics.

RETARDED ♥

2008-06-23T23:16:00.002+08:00

伟良 needs human transmutation says:
U is better than nothing. nothing is better than A1.
伟良 needs human transmutation says:
so U is better than A1
pearlynne//&♥ says:
HAHAH
pearlynne//&♥ says:
FLAWEDDDDD
pearlynne//&♥ says:
so weileong is a human. girls are human beings.
pearlynne//&♥ says:
so weileong's a girl
伟良 needs human transmutation says:
nope..
伟良 needs human transmutation says:
girls are weileong beings.
pearlynne//&♥ says:
-.-
伟良 needs human transmutation says:
hai.. can't even substitute correctly
伟良 needs human transmutation says:
how to do math

alot like love ♥

2008-06-23T18:44:00.002+08:00

Let me break the ice
Allow me to get you right
Let you warm up to me
Baby I can make you feel

♥

I like this conversation with Lina ALOT.
pearlynne//&♥: your eyecandy might be treating you like an eyecandy
eleyeeneeh. : LOL
eleyeeneeh. : that sounds weird.
eleyeeneeh. : but if he does i'll be suprised. haha!
pearlynne//&♥: WHY
pearlynne//&♥: please don't be okay
pearlynne//&♥: he's the nicest eyecandy ever.
pearlynne//&♥: i mean. whose eyecandy treats his (eye??) so nice?!
eleyeeneeh. : lol
eleyeeneeh. : once only!
pearlynne//&♥: good enough :D

pearlynne//&♥: anyway who say you not popular. who say you not pretty! HAHAHHAHA. if he finds you an eyecandy, means hes got better taste than you :D
eleyeeneeh. : LOL IMAGINE IF HE HEARD THIS
pearlynne//&♥: Noooooooo! HAHAHA
eleyeeneeh. : personal attack LOL
pearlynne//&♥: dont tell him AHHAHAA

Lina has baaaaaaaad taste :D but love anyway.

2008-06-23T18:01:00.004+08:00

Things are turning to be very different from what
I hoped/prayed/wished/expected it to be.
I still hope it'll change.

BTW. I flipped open the paper for DRQ and I just died on the spot.
I didn't even read price discrimination.
Not one bit.

& I flipped the essay questions and I wasn't given a choice but to do Gvmt intervention.
Cause I didn't read about Taxes either.

I READ EVERYTHING ELSE BUT THOSE :/

2008-06-22T20:43:00.003+08:00

I rang my sister and WTH SHES IN BARCELONA NOW.
BITCH.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY PHYLisiachonglixia.
Love you with all my heart. ♥

I noticed your eyes are always glued to me
Keeping them here
And it makes no sense at all
I don't wanna be lilmiss.stalker.

2008-06-22T19:52:00.003+08:00

I'm absolutely sick and tired of all the mugging.
esp when I know I can't even get an S for Math.
See how screwed it is?

I haven't studied Entropy and I think that Chem's my strongest for the exams.
See how screwed it is?

I understand nothing bout SHM, Gravitation, Dynamics and Forces
See how screwed it is?

I know nothing about Graphs, Inequalities, Differentiation and Integration Applications
SEE HOW SCREWED I AM?

I have no idea what I'm studying for econs and its tmr for pete's sake.
yay, lament.

2008-06-22T16:47:00.003+08:00

I cried in tuition today. Yes. wtf, I finally broke down.
It's about time anyway.

15 songs I'd sing today:

Kanye West: Stronger
Flo-Rida feat. T-Pain: Get Low
Britney Spears: Break the Ice
Boys like Girls: Dance Hall Drug
Secondhand Serenade: Fall for you
Paramore: CrushCrushCrush
Yael Naim: New Soul
Buckcherry: Sorry
Leona Lewis: Better in Time
David Cook: Always be my baby
Jay Z & Linkin Park: Numb & Encore remix
Norweigian Recycling: How six songs collide
One Republic feat. Timbaland: Apologize
The Hoosiers: Goodbye Mr. A
Making April: I wrote this song

I'M EVIDENTLY VERY EMO.

happy 50th post of the month.

2008-06-22T01:23:00.002+08:00

I'm lamenting over my results alr.

& I changed my mind, I'm hanging on.
Silly.

2008-06-21T21:40:00.001+08:00

I feel assick as I was in the morning ):
很痛

webcam conversation with liangliang :D

2008-06-21T17:55:00.002+08:00

CHILDISH.

STINKY FOOT: "Thank god it's a cam not a nose"

Accd to Liangliang, it's Sui's classic smile :D

& I look retardedly ill.

I'm hot with a fever,
in a trance with the headache,
leaking with all that shit
& now I'm red.

I ran out of the toilet screaming: "HOW CAN I HAVE MY MENSES AT SUCH AN UNEARTHLY TIME.... Oh great I'm not pregnant"

I miss ny ♥ Like totally.

2008-06-21T09:22:00.006+08:00

Classic Example of nylife :D Courtesy of Karene

From left

1st row : Justina, Bkoh (but she looks like byeo!)

2nd row: Me (FLAT), Sui & Yina(FLAT as well)

3rd row: Jingwei, Quekie, Sheryl (ALL FLAT)

I miss table gang totally!

Elaine, Suikim, Sheryl, Jingwei,

Yina, Amandas,

Peapea & Quekie.

I absolutely miss Jing's tactless whining,
Quekie's classic face and abstinence from camwhoring,
Amandas' bright smile & ever cheerfulness,
Yina falling asleep or reading in class,
Sheryl's "aptitude" for nonsensical humour,
Elaine's CHINESE and childish-motherly-like comments,
and Sui's cmi texting-under-the-table skills.
But I totally do not miss my cryings D:

I miss the laughter & love.

2 more days & I'm feeling dead alr.

2008-06-21T05:55:00.006+08:00

Elaine and Jing have been awesome studying+bitching partners for the past 2 days.
& Twitwin QUEKIE for a day.

We've been disturbing the entire wing with:
1) Occasional screams
2) and "SORRY"s to the world around us after that
3) Bitching bout guys (?!!?)
4) & girls (who's pretty who's not)
I seriously wonder how Junwen, Henry and their friends could stand our nonsense behind us :$

But still, it was like minor scale of NY life ):
Anything to relive those moments.

I was a total blockhead ytd when ~~physics failed on me,~~ I failed physics.
A few big news:
1) Elaine FINALLY admitted she was full of shit cause she couldn't stop pooping ):
2) I get really freaked out when Jing's friend comes to play.
3) Jing's got a Math Saviour who thinks my name is PEA.
4) Jing had FLINGS.
5) Elaine memorises definitions through acronyms long enough to make a sentence.
6) Calbee Seaweed makes you poop.
7) continued from 6: Alot
8) I HAVEN'T STUDIED MY PHYSICS AND MATH.
9) It's a matter of time before I die of heatstroke cause the weather's effing hot, I was perspiring, but I felt totally cold. Like I needed a cotton sweater :/

Our conversations ranged from girls to guys, sex kills to sex sells and what not.
Jing was telling us about how she can't get used to the British pronunciation of "can't".
Jing: I had to say that to the other guy(I forgot his name, sorry) during "how the other half loves" and it was like.
Jing: YOU CUNT(CAN'T)!!
& I couldn't stop laughing after that.

& Elaine was in deep thoughts about life.
Elaine: Our lives suck.
Pea: yeahhh, like vacuum cleaners
Elaine: But it's our life! So if it sucks, we still have to live it!
Pea: Uhhhh, yeah.
Elaine: SO, if they suck, we must blow it away. Like "whoooo" (does blowing action)
Pea: WTH?! IF THEY SUCK, WE BLOW? ELAINE WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

Jing lost faith in my taste for men.
Jing: You've got good taste
Pea: *BEAMING*
Jing: In food.
Pea: -.-

I don't think I'll feel liberation in the air after blocks cause results would be tying me to my chair.
Srsly, I'm effing screwed.
2 days. & I'm beyond dead.

GOHWEILEONG. IF YOU SEE THIS CAN YOU CALL ME. I NEED TO SPEAK TO YOU.
& CHANGE YOUR PHONE TO SOMETHING USERFRIENDLY.
even a pager seems nicer than your current phone :(

2008-06-20T13:09:00.001+08:00

I hate fevers.

But I love walking around with everything so surreal,
having difficulty balancing,
& feeling hot all at the same time.

7th quote from the past.

2008-06-19T04:10:00.001+08:00

7) Physics practical was funnnn, Maychew was throwing pieces of cork into Quekie's blouse because, uhhh yes because yeah. Then they were laughing with Quekie giving that that Quekie's face.

Quekie: She threw the cock(cork) into my blouse )))):
Maychew: That sounded so wrong.
(EVERYONE in fits of laughter)
Quekie: She threw the COR-CKKKKK into my blouse.

Quotes from the past

2008-06-19T03:49:00.005+08:00

1) I'M A PRINCESS, YOU TOAD. So shut up and kiss me.

2) "I WANNA GO OUT WITH PERCUSSION."

3) "Oh, during Chinese lecture Jas, Sheryl, Sui and I were sitting together at the back. Then we started talking about Calcutta. & we decided to ask ZhangZhangChuan老师 if we could go this year again at the end of the class.

& ZZC老师 was like: 应该是不可以因为你们今年的O'水准很迟
then he said: 你们还是死心吧!

So he left and Jas wanted to ask ChaiChoonkow老师(YES Chai爸爸!) if we could extend our compo dateline. Then I yelled when ZZC老师 left

and I said: 我们不会死心的!

and Chai爸爸 was like (His face is seriously small!)

Then I was like: 不是不是,不是那个!
Chai爸爸: 不可以! 他比你们还老 blahblahblah. (HE'S DAMN FUNNY. ) 你们太年轻了!

Then I said: 他，我才不要！我要高的，大的，帅的，黑的...
and Chai爸爸 was like: 非洲人uh?

WAHLAU. DIRECT TRANSLATION MAH."

4)

What the hell were we doing?

5) Thurs (030507): PIGTAILS

I think it was Pigtails day. Cause while Yina tied pig tails, the row behind us (Byeo, Bkoh, Justina, Lz) tied their hair to the right (all except Lzhen) then I was in sucha camwhore mood I was busy taking pics of myself in LA class that I decided to tie pigtails too. Then after that Sui did too and we made Elaine did so with her short hair. So twas like the second row had pigtails as a trend and the third had ponytails to the right. & then Jing decided on braided pigtails. & she looked like those country bumpkin or those 狼狈乡下的女人. But we were all busy tying our hair during LA, and MissBirchwood kept quiet (whoopsydaisy).

Then suddenly both rows decided on pigtails only so Byeo, Bkoh, Justi, Yina, Elaine, Sui and I had pigtails. Sheryl joined us like later later LATER on.Then we went to the library and camwhored with our pigtails. :D We were supposed to read the english articles but Shionyee was reading chinese and we were all reading Life! :D. During chem MissGoh was like looking at our hair and had this :o face.

2nd ROW. w/o AMANDY

PIGTAILS FAMILY. I CLOSED MY EYES.

TWICE.

SO GUAI

EmoElaine.

UNGLAM QUEKIE.

WE WERE EXEMPTED FROM BAND. Because of cheena.

I was fking stressed later on cause I had to complete my webpage and study cheena and I wasn't prepared for NAPHA, all the next day. I wasn't trying really hard to encourage myself I guess. & I was crying in front of the laptop. Stewpid, always like that. Sui was trying to convince me that I need a break but I just kept crying and in the end I gave up. Roar. But I planned. I decided to focus on one thing at a time and worry bout the thing after I finished the other.

6) I THINK MY CLASS IS AWESOME. NO SHIT.

unquoteI love 4o6. totally. ♥

2008-06-18T23:34:00.002+08:00

GO PEARLYNNE.
EVEN THOUGH YOU'RE ABSOLUTELY NOT ON-TASK.

YOU'RE STILL DOING FINE.
FOR THE FIRST TIME.

撑下去！

2008-06-18T21:24:00.000+08:00

my tummy's all queasy.
I feel like puking. ):

the day I chose to let go ♥

2008-06-18T21:04:00.003+08:00

The moment I gave you the stuffs,
was the time I decided to release and let go.

2008-06-18T19:45:00.002+08:00

If I could rape Chemistry, I would.
& leave it to die of trauma.
Slowly....letting him/her/it to choose suicide over life.

& end my ever long misery.

SCREW CHEMISTRY.

I noticed your eyes are always glued to me ♥

2008-06-18T16:35:00.002+08:00

I want to emcee with liangliang!
hmmph!

I WANT TO CHOOOOOOOOOOOSEEEEEE.
HMMPH.

ARGHHHHHHH!

2008-06-18T06:38:00.001+08:00

my tummy aches. really really really badly.

2008-06-18T06:18:00.000+08:00

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take.
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

I'm a young soul in this very strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit bout what is true and fake.
But why all this hate?
Try to communicate
Finding trust and love is not always easy to make.

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

This is a happy end
Cause' you don't understand
Everything you have done
Why's everything so wrong

This is a happy end
Come and give me your hand
I'll take your far away.

I'm a new soul
I came to this strange world
Hoping I could learn a bit about how to give and take
But since I came here
Felt the joy and the fear
Finding myself making every possible mistake

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la...

La-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la....

YAEL NAIM

RE-TIME

2008-06-18T02:18:00.003+08:00

New Timetable: WAYYYYYY Happier with it.

Wednesday: Physics Consultation + ~~RC Meeting~~ + Studying with Lina&Char
Thursday: Meet Mr Tan to go through answers + ~~Training for Connect Singapore 08~~ + Study with Quekie + Econs consultation
Friday: ~~IF THERES ANYTHING HERE THAT INVOLVES CONNECT OR BLOCKS. I'M SNAPPING.~~ Garethgabrielconceicao's OP
Saturday: Trial run for Connect Singapore o8
Sunday: 5 HOURS OF TUITION STRAIGHT A-G-A-I-N + PHYLISIACHONGLIXIA'S BIRTHDAY.

I'm glad I like it this way.

2008-06-18T02:07:00.003+08:00

ANSWER YOUR PHONE.
YOU'RE GOING TO MISS YOUR MATCH.
AHHHHHHH.

GREGCHEONGWENJIE WAKE UP PLEEAAASEEEEEEEE.
)*(#*)*%&(&!(%*&*

OKAY WOKEN UP

2008-06-17T23:07:00.003+08:00

I LOVE THESE.

(Quote)2006:
Thursday, October 5

I'm taking a break from damnation. I'm finally done with America (Franklin D. Roosevelt should love me for finally understanding his 3 Rs). Need to get back to Mr.Long (yes Mr Russia) and Mr.extremenly Long (Mr China+MZD+KMT+CCP+TheGreatProleterianCulturalRevolution). OH! and bloody french revolution.

sheryl says:
is it very hazy or is it some cuckoo is having bbq downstairs my house
eyes of the beholder. !if you haven't cried, your eyes can't be beautiful. says:
its the haze
sheryl says:
oh anw, i realised the cuckoo was my mum
sheryl says:
HAHAHAHAH

& here's one from Yina long ago (on America's Boom&Bust).
"Economically, it boomed.
Agriculturally and socially, it sucked.
Politcally, it was fine. But Bush wasn't alive yet."

I hope boardroom doesn't attempt to kick me out anytime in that 2hours and 20 mins tmr.
-

Friday, October 6

There is hope. & a probability that we can revive our long love affair. It isn't the end of my love for history. I hope my results doesn't end up as "on the contrary" kinda thing. I was literally spitting my knowledge into the spit bowl (paper). Throughout that 2 hours and 20 mins, I was nearing death cause of time management. I did have time left for editing (but anyone would be too tired to do so.) The size of my words were just amazing.
They started of like that about Stalin's Rule and then slowly decreased in size & legiblity till you can only make out the first and last letter.

There was this source on MarieAntoinette that was so reliable+enhanced reliablity, I couldn't find anything to say it was unrealiable. (I FORGOT ABOUT HER CHILDREN.) & we all forgot about TVA, Tennessee Valley Authority, thats why we couldn't write for AmericaBoom&Bust. I was thinking which pig needed more than 7 paper and I turned around to see Sheryl needing more.

After that, MrGoh gave our people remedial and Sheryl, Sui, Jas and I stayed back to bitch and listen out for invaluable hints. (I swear he directly hinted indirectly) & we decided to order KFC. There was no meal for delivery except for dine in. So we ordered PartyMeal (& embarrassed ourselves by saying we wanted FamilyMeal). Then we started walking across the quadrangle counting the tiles. Counted halfway and lost count. So we recounted again in tens. (FYI, It's 246 across.) We didn't attempt to find out the area.

We were at popular when MrKFCguy called and we rushed back to get the money. Sui&Sheryl started running so Jas&I followed. Then we looked at each other and found no reason to run since they had gone first. I fell to the ground laughing when Sui's skirt flew up (like marilyn monroe's) while running.

Sheryl was abso-tempted while waiting for them to finish and for us to start munching. Ros came over and eat Sui's bandito. & I left right after eating without the presence of my pencil case & had to return just to claim it back.

Exam Stress or Last minute mugging

NINE DOWN. THREE TO GO.
(Liberation ain't too far baby)

(un-quote)

2008-06-17T18:58:00.003+08:00

Fuck. I'm going to dehydrate and die very soon if I keep shitting water.

Is fcuk from France or from UK.
French Connection U.K?
oh, U.K's the name. It's founded in London. (read wiki)

FRENCH FRIES CAME FROM FRANCE (supposedly)
Häagen-Dazs COMES FROM AMERICA. OHMYGOD. I thought it was german.
read wiki.

I shan't exhibit my ignorance any further.

baby, the way you make my world go round ♥

2008-06-17T16:26:00.008+08:00

YAY! Survey hit 100! But 3 idiots clicked on it and did nothing. Hmmph.
Loves anyway to those who did and phylphyl who asked her friends to do as well!
THREE MORE.

Okay, before I get back to my Econs (which ahs been productive so far), I need to tell the world that I've been shitting water. & it feels terrible ):
I feel stressed but not burned out yet.
I've never felt like giving up so bad in my life.
Kinda regret sleeping like idunnowhat.

OKAY. SO, I was really early ytd, sitting there stoning with econs. & NICKTAN POPPED BY. HAHAH, but left fast too. Then others came and went for the Chem timedtrial.

There was rehearsal. & I joined the usherers instead of the emcees. My mistake.
Okay, emceeing was weird cause there was more names to pronounced than before. I was telling Yongji on stage how bad my tummyache was and each time I felt like pooping. But the mike was damn senstitive and kept picking on whatever I said ): So the world knew I needed the toilet.

& Shao Fei wasn't there. So Yongji had to take his place. :D I SWEAR I NEED COURT SHOES WITH HEELS EVEN HIGHER THAN THE ONE I BOUGHT. The rest of the time later, Yongji and I became Time Keepers. It's going to be part of our duty.

Then, I went to class bench and I met CHARCHAR :D, linky and linus. But I was srsly hungry after pooping nonstop. I caught sight of ELAINE AND JING who were going to CORO. AHAHHA. MY LUNCH MATES. :D Apparently, Sheryl popped by but I missed her ): After that I tried studying with Jing but I desperately needed sleep. I was sleeping when her friends came over, played and talked at the other bench.

DESPITE the noise level, I found that 10 mins of sleep awesome. & Someone woke me up when the rugby ball they were playing with hit me. Jing was very nice about it: "AYE. MY FRIEND WAS SLEEPING YOU KNOW. YOU DIDN'T EVEN APOLOGISE!" HAHAH. Thanks love for screaming.

Helped Elaine with her banner and stuffs. Junwen called me and srsly, I can't rmbr what I said. I thought I was dreaming cause I don't even know what he said. OHOHOH! I passed everyone their presents alr! :D Left a few more people luh. Elaine was being really really mean trying to spot someone and dragging me into it. Constantly pointing at people. ohmytian.

I was going Teban gardens and my longawaited 154 arrived. I took it and after a while I was thinking when it was reaching Jurong. & wtf, I took the wrong bus. ): I hate to get lost alone. tmdtmdtmd. I nearly cried luh. But I had my bus directory with me. & I got on the right track. I was still early that I could have my dinner at Teban. HAHA.

& on my way home from MPS, Mellissa, Boonyang and I were chatting on the train. & Boonyang said he saw me sleeping and how the rugby ball hit me. ARGH! THE WHOLE WORLD SAW ME SLEEPING.

NOW I KNOW WHY I LIKE DAVID COOK'S VOICE. Greg reminded me that he sounds a little like lead vocalist of Nickelback, Chad Kroeger!

okay. eekonNOmeeks calls.

2008-06-16T23:21:00.003+08:00

I'm a tres happy kid.
Seriously.
Maybe, kinda tired.

Had rehearsal and I studied with Jing :D Cheese tarts.

MPS was fun. I did registraion and I learnt the art of talking to 10 different people, circulating around perhaps 3 different topics, at the very same time.
"Please wait for your IC"
"No the MP isn't coming today"
"All the files are in alr, take a seat for a while, they'll call you soon."

The truth is, sitting with the clerks teaches you how to solve their problems.
But you're not exposed to all their problems.
Registering for the people, you know ALL their problems.
Permits to PRs, Ceiling leaks to Passion Cards, Parking fines & the world is warped ):

I hate flying too high.

2008-06-15T23:13:00.001+08:00

I hate you 273x
♥

what the hell are you waiting for?

2008-06-15T22:34:00.004+08:00

Another step that I take is another mistake to you.

1. I haven't gone to church in a while.
2. I feel like the inner core of the toilet paper. Useless.
3. TMD. I'm in Connect.
4. I bought really high-heeled Court shoes
5. I'm not going for Chem timed trial tmr ):
6. So? Big fuck?

-
I had 5 straighthours of tuition with the usual. 3 hours for physics and 2 hours of Chem. & I know, I'm officially doomed.

I'm very angry about 3. After all my efforts, I'm still in it.

Time table for Week 4:
Monday: Chem Timed Trial + Rehearsal for ENTREP
Tuesday: Chem Timed Trial
Wednesday: Physics Consultation + RC Meeting + Studying with Lina&Char
Thursday: Meet Mr Tan to go through answers + Training for Connect Singapore 08 +Study with Quekie [I dunno how :(]
Friday: IF THERES ANYTHING HERE THAT INVOLVES CONNECT OR BLOCKS. I'M SNAPPING.
Saturday: Trial run for Connect Singapore o8
Sunday: 5 HOURS OF TUITION STRAIGHT A-G-A-I-N + PHYLISIACHONGLIXIA'S BIRTHDAY.

TO DO LIST:
1. EOM
2. BLOCKS.
3. CV
4. Reflections. (SEND THEM)

2008-06-15T02:42:00.001+08:00

I wanna break down and cry.
I guess it just hit me hard in the head.

There's no one anymore.

for granted. ♥

2008-06-14T23:04:00.003+08:00

I woke up this ~~morning~~ noon.
& I decided.

I'm giving up on you.

I'm sorry if you aren't able to steal the same amount of attention as before.
It's too late.

Thought this would be interesting :D ♥ 406

2008-06-14T18:10:00.003+08:00

Saturday March 10, 2007

I think I'm like, going to take hours to blog this whole chunk on graces out. I doubt I'd be using Xanga to upload photos, esp when it's taking photobucket so long to upload them. I took at least 170 pictures but I accidentally deleted them. My phone so zai! Okay, so graces started 3 days ago and ended ytd. Lost the funk after a while (for me). I was half glad that it was over and half saddened by the fact that camp was over. I love camps.

Day 1:

I was extremely early and I sat at the audi waiting for Sui who was ultra late. Kinda stoned there and watch different people in different tees walk by me. & Byeo came and Sheryl came. & I told Sheryl to call me when we were supposed to gather and she said okay. After a while, she texted me

Sheryl: Hey, I know I'm supposed to call you if something happens. But I forgot what it was.

SHERYLKOHQUANQUAN I bet you were thinking about your shuibi. But Sui said she'd be late so I went to put my bag first at the paradesquare and the rest of the class were there alrdy. Amandas came to wish us loads of fun :D
Amandy flower girl.

& Justina tried on my shades.

& we were just busy talking and looking at each others heels and comparing heights of heels and many were trying to finish their shuibi. That was when I realised 3/4 of my bunkmates didn't bring toothpaste. But MAOLIANGLIANG brought a mega large tube. ~~Life~~Teeth-saver! Oh then I kinda forgot what happened but we sat outside the audi waiting for our buses. Amadas, Yina, Maychew and Zeena couldn't make it. ):

I think some of us were really tired cause the day before, Sui, Huiyi, Ros and I went to town to get our shoes like SERIOUSLY NO SHOES and we just got and C&K cause (iya no cause) & I reached home at like 11 and packed from 12 to 3. Like ohmygod. Nearly died waking up. SO, because of that, we were busy sleeping in the bus.

Trying to sleep at least. When we reached costa sands, they sent us of straight to D'Marquee. Threw our bags at the corner & we saw Yeelin's design on the screen like "YEELIN IS THAT YOURS?" Everything was good with the briefing and stuffs. Wowed us with the table layout and good food.

The moment they say we could have our tea the world came crashing to the corners of D'Marquee. So our table (Zhirui, Elaine, Yeelin, Eileen, Jasmine, Sheryl, Sui and I) sat and stoned till the whole world left the food before we took ours. & the waiters and waitresses were so nice and kept going "More for you mdm?" when they were pouring fruit punch. & there was this waiter who looked like a rounder version of Utt. Had loads of time so we practiced our parade and dance (:

They refused to let us retire to our rooms so we had to go for our next activity. funny thing was they had even numbered classes to Group B and odd numbered classes to Group A. & Group B always had the fun activity first then the boring ones. We had make up session first. BECAUSE, we were late, we kinda got serparated and Sheryl, Sui and I sat with 4/2 and uh 4/14 I think. Make-up was fun because we had to use clenser toner moisturizer to remove the dirt off our face and we didn't do much but the dirt was enough to lose your appetite. & then came EYES!. Eyeshadowed and kiapkiap our lashes. & did our cheeks. HAHA: REMEMBER THE ENGAGEMENT RING FINGER AND MARRIAGE RING FINGER. Choonmin and Sheryl started playing with their eyeshadow and choonmin gave Sheryl a blackeye while Sheryl gave Choonmin a frostbite. & Rosay came over and we noticed her lashes were like long :D Can't beat mine.

Sheryl!

Sheryl Pea Sui

Miss long eye lashes.

The lady lied we wouldn't leave the face with ovedrexaggerating makeup but it was horrendous please. So we rushed to remove our make up! :D All these weren't new, just learning with the proper foundations. Then we had lunch. Graciousness. Good food. Like, 天壤之别 from obs. The honeydew sago dessert was Ican'tuseanywordstodescribeit.

& because I have a good bowel system, I had to shit. & I went to shit that was why we were late and separated from our class again for the next activity: Personality profile, Deportment. Learnt to walk in heels and and get up and ontot the chair, all with books on. & I didn't drop my book. HAHA, kickass. & we kinda wrote what were our expectations out of all this and we had to get up and present and Jasmine was so SHYYYYYYY. & we had to rate each othe ron how pretty and this that. It all felt fake, thanks a bunch for that.

MRKUO!

3 solid hours on each activity before we got to go back to our bunks and get ready for our class identity+MalayExtravaganza+hosting! Bunked with Karene, Justi and Liangzhen and connected room with Rebecca, Elaine, Zeena and Yongji.. I pretended to be this totally cleanliness freak and we kept packinhgover and over again. :D We were about to leave when Zeena and Maychew came back form their match, yay, they won :D.

BED

Couldn't freaking pin the flower to my hair and the whole world was rushing when we weren't late. Miss Yeo was the person we had to host and all of the sixers had the flower to their left. So prettay please. & we had to eat with our fingers. Finger-licking good. Zhenghua gave a wonderful performance. Totally good.

& we had to go to D'tent for our debrief and we took classphoto! (:
Class (w/o Amandy and yina)

before we left again. Slept pretty late because we were fooling around and were folding paper cranes for Jas birthday the next day and Ros also came over and played to dirty my bed. So we pretended to be all asleep and Jas' co refused to acknowledge her presence and Zhirui brought Jasmine around to make sure she didn't come near to our bunks and find out! I was already half asleep and I told Elaine to wake me up at 12midnight when it was alrdy 1130. At 12 Elaine woke me up and I rushed without my sepcs and I ran out without knowing where the hell I was going. Couldn't wake Lzhen, Justi and Karene up cause they were soundly asleep. With my mind not working, I thought Elaine was Berniceyeo and I just followed whoever who was in front of me.

We went into (Hoxy+Sheryl+Christabella+BerniceKoh)'s room cause it was connected to (Maychew+Sui+Jing+Zhangyan)'s room where Jas and Zhirui was. So we got ready and Hoxy's room and Mayche wand yeelin entered through the connected door while we waited in the dark. Then, we all rushed in. I guess there were like at least 15 of us? I can't remember but maybe: Hoxy, Christabella, Sheryl, Bkoh, Zhirui, Yeelin, Eileen, Maychew, Yuchen, Byeo, Sui, Jing, Zhangyan, Elaine, I. Iya almost the whole gang luh. & we were about to sing HappyBirthday when we heard knockings on the door.

Seriously comical cause Yeelin pretended to be asleep on the beds in the room and Zhirui threw the covers over her with her slippers on :/ pretending she was already sleeping. Then the majority of us ran to the connected room. I dived onto Sheryl's bed, followed by Sheryl herself and BYeo and Yuchen. Funnyshiz cause we dived one by one and you can feel the bed go high each time. Tried to muffle our laughter and off the lights close the door. After a while BKoh opened the door and said some Staff gave us a white slip of paper for nose pollution. Thanks to our big mouths, laughed our ass out and freaked out when I heard "a teacher gave us the YELLOW PAPER, dreadful piece of shit." This time we really sang Happy Birthday :D before running back to our rooms.

Jas

Worse of all, I didn't take the room key cause 3 people were sleeping and I couldn't see a single thing. So I followed Elaine out and started banging on my door. Before I realised no one would answer me and I ran to Elaine's room and walk to mine.

Day 2:

Woke up early and washed up. Breakfasted this time Mayhew with us as well. Loads of fun but don't remind me cause I deleted ALL the pictures there accidentally. Heartbreak x2. Then we had games. Awesome play, we were extremely early and we started fooling around with those hulahoops.

Mel!

Eileen and Quekie!

Quekie :/

:D & we had to play Flip where 16 of us stood in and flip the mat so we they got the smallest people and all of us were really cheering on. Wasn't that bad cause we had the pros and 16 on a big mat was fine.

But the next game was all of us to squeeze into 1/4of the mat and stand for 10secs before cheering our class cheer. We had a really long cheer so we decided to yell a really short one "123 3211 4/6 4/6 no.1" & it was really tiring cause all of us were tip-toeing and pressing ourselves against each other and we managed to do so with 5 people outside the mat.

Then was folding paper aeroplane and we had to throw them through hulahoops. Was a really good job cause we got 30 out of 50 in :D in the short period of time. & it was funky writing names, testing flight and choosing planes.

After that we had to fold the biggest airplane (by wingspan) and make sure it flies. Guess what, no class made planes that could fly eecept for ChaiChoonKow. Then was WATER game. Wasn't really water luh. Just that we had to pass the cup of water around in the tray. Although we were last, there was this protrayal of sportsmanship. OHGOD, I love my class.

We lunched and prepared for our Social Skills course. THIS TIME, THERE WERE MALE FACILITATORS. HAHAHA. & there was this really cute guy called Jerald but he went to 408's class. & I SWEAR IT WAS DUN but as I said I lost all the pictures ): I took pictures of him you knowww. But nvm. Anyway, we had to go in threes and pretended we were introducing each other. So Sheryl pretened to be MrKohho and Hoxy was Mrs Kohho and Christabella was the daughter. & I was MrYeoChong and Sui was Mrs YeoChong while Jingwei was our daughter. & we couldn't introduce ourselves to each other cause we were totally boasting about our daughters going to Harvard and how long she needed to study. I was amsued that Christabella KohHo just graduated from harvard with a degree and she's only ten :/

Then we talked about what actions of ladies disgusted us. & we had to play the 1 2 3 wave handshake or hug game. & we were practically hugging and shaking hands with many people. We also played the pass the message game. It was a really long paragraph on some old man and woman crossing orchard with a sald without dressing and they music blasted and the old man had some naked belly which shimmered, well he startled got into a fit and the old woman shrieked and duno what threw the salad something the carrot bounced off the pig and hit the parrot. Hah, kickass. Wrote about the actions we hated.

& we learnt how to dine and Leeqi ate everything on the plate.. Learnt how to host once more and uhh we had to choose MissGraceful, MissConfident and MissPersonality. My mood kinda screwed up during the course so WTV. & we rushed off to prepare for our parade. I swear it was really scary. & we changed the whole parade but the thought of us walking up alone was FREAKY. & we rushed off again to bathe and get ready for our formal dinner.

Everyone trying to put on make up and we couldn't see our make up with the yellow light so we had to open the curtains (ON GRND FLOOR) and put on our make us. Elaine had problems with her dress cause her zip got stuck in her hurry and Sui and Jas had to sew it. Thank God for the needle and thread. & She couldn't put on her contacts and I placed one into her left eye for her. Then Maychew and Eileen could kiapkiap their eyes and places mascara and eyeshadow. & everyone was frantic and I was doing htings halfway. Like mascara on one eye and my earrings on one ear and blusher heavier on the other and perms on the other side of the hair. & we rushed off to the dinner and EVERYONE was there alrdy. I forgot to remove my retainers and I was frantically trying to look for Sui so I can use her bags my retainer box :X

Had to sit in order of our register number. Had ZhenLaoShi as our guest at the table and we were joined with some 4/5 people: Renice, Huijuan, YanNgee and Jiahui. & Zhirui, Yuchen, Rebecca and I were sitting together. We couldn't keep with the dining etiq stuffs that we learnt so we left it. & it was class parade cause we were like the first class to do so. I could die and Zhirui was near to tears. SO JINZHANG. ): Screwed up and Rebecca dropped her heels. Mr Paul Tan (EMCEE) was totally mean cause many slipped off their heels and he said he didn't want to be the next Charles&Keith. & there were stuffs like MissStraightestPosture and MissSexyVoice.

Noelle got MissPersonality and Estelle got MissConfidence and I forgot who got MissGraceful. (: & the event was seriously funny. After we had our appetiser and soup and main course and dessert Zhirui and I went back and took our perfumes and stuffs. Then we went back and partayed till we dropped. But it was short partying so we 自HIGH. Then we had class photo before we left.

& Ros came over again! & we funked! Elaine slept at our bunk for a while before she disappeared inthe middle of the night. Nightcalls were dumb you could hear ALL the teachers.

I forgot to add: we pretended to be lovebirds. & we were trying to to fix my charger into the circuit thingo but it was too high and the fridge was blocking so we took the bin and karene stood on it. It became a hexagon and we kept laughing thinking what to do with it when Elaine fixed it with a touch.

Day3 (really brief cause I can't remember. Let the pictures do the talking):

Sang Jas hre belated Bday song. Got up with a bad nose and throat thanks to the AIRCON. did nanzhongquan & we had to do class dance after breakfast and we had to goooooo.

I can't remember the funny parts where we laughed till we had stiches but yes. I loved the camp.& vids not ready yet!

But the discipline sucks luh.

Posted 3/10/2007 at 12:28 AM

2008-06-14T17:59:00.002+08:00

I love David Cook's version more than Mariah Carey's.
I like it when his voice go really really rough. At the really high and low parts.
Like M. Shadows from A7X

-
We were as one, babe
For the moment in time
And it seemed everlasting
That you would always be mine
Now you want to be free, yeah
So I'm letting you fly
'cause I know in my heart, babe
Our love will never die, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I ain't gonna cry, no
And I won't beg you to stay
If you're determined to leave, girl
I will not stand in your way
But inevitably,
You'll be back again
'Cause you know in your heart, babe
Our love will never end, no

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby

I know that you'll be back, girl
When your days and your nights get a little bit colder, oh, oh
I know that you'll be right back, baby
Oh baby, believe me, it's only a matter of time

You'll always be a part of me
I'm part of you indefinitely
Girl, don't you know you can't escape me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
And we'll linger on
Time can't erase a feeling this strong
No way, you're never gonna shake me
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my, my baby

(You'll always be a part of me)
You will always be
(I'm part of you indefinitely
(Girl, don't you know you can't escape me)
Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby
(And we'll linger on)
We will linger on
(Time can't erase a feeling this strong
(No way, you're never gonna shake me
(Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby)

Always be my baby...

- Buckcherry
Oh I had alot to say
Was thinking on my time away
I miss you and things weren't the same
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say i'm sorry.

This time I think i'm to blame
It's harder to get through the days
We get older and blame turns to shame
'Cause everything inside it never comes out right
And when I see you cry it makes me wanna die.

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
[ Sorry lyrics found on http://www.completealbumlyrics.com ]
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say i'm sorry.

Every single day I think about how we came all this way
The sleepless nights and the tears you cried
It's never too late to make it right
Oh yeah Sorry!

I'm sorry i'm bad, i'm sorry i'm blue
I'm sorry about all the things I said to you
And I know I can't take it back
I love how you kiss, I love all your sounds
And baby the way you make my world go 'round
And I just wanted to say i'm sorry.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry baby.
I'm sorry.

Fall for you.

2008-06-14T03:14:00.001+08:00

Secondhand Serenade

The best thing about tonight's that we're not fighting
Could it be that we have been this way before
I know you don't think that I am trying
I know you're wearing thin down to the core

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

This is not what I intended
I always swore to you I'd never fall apart
You always thought that I was stronger
I may have failed
But I have loved you from the start
Ohhhh

But hold your breathe
Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
It's impossible

So breathe in so deep
Breathe me in
I'm yours to keep
And hold onto your words
Cause talk is cheap
And remember me tonight
When you're asleep

Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
Tonight will be the night that I will fall for you
Over again
Don't make me change my mind
Or I won't live to see another day
I swear it's true
Because a girl like you is impossible to find
You're impossible to find

2008-06-14T02:36:00.003+08:00

This is so funny. REALLY REALLY. Poor girl. she got the wrong girl ):
OH WAIT. is she pranking on meeeeeeeee. >(

like wth is dublin's top 20 award giving ceremony?

impossible to find. impossible to find.

2008-06-13T23:53:00.002+08:00

Okay, I'm going to do my work now.
I can't stand your expectations.

I know you don't think that I'm trying.
I know you're wearing thin down to the core.

I WANT TO GO TO THE ZOO.

2008-06-13T20:49:00.001+08:00

♥

2008-06-13T18:08:00.002+08:00

I've just mass send the link of my PW survey.
& on the last mail, to those whose email adds start with the letter "U", I was greeted with:
"You have sent the maximum number of messages allowed in a 24-hour period. To save this message to send later, click Save draft above"

Okay then. ):
& if the number of response fail to jack up. I'll be so pissed cause I took my time to do the surveys of those whom emailed me their link.
pfffffffffft. I believe kindness begets kindness!

Anyway, I took the liberty of sleeping 19 hours.
So, it's mugging throughout the night now.

I ♥ you, with my hungry tummy.

2008-06-13T04:44:00.003+08:00

I'm not in need of anyone's attention.
except, perhaps blocks.

I feel slightly demented by a book.
& I'm starting to regret every single thing.

What if I don't get to see any of you tmr?
I'll die remembering the last thing I said was
"Talk to you some other time. bye."
"I don't want to talk now"
"Good night"
"TMD YOU"
"Thanks"
or "See you" when I no longer will.

& never to be able to tell you how much I love you.
I'm scared. I really am.

2008-06-13T04:25:00.001+08:00

I never knew perfection til
I heard you speak, and now it kills me
Just to hear you say the simple things
Now waking up is hard to do
And sleeping is impossible too
Everything is reminding me of you
What can I do?

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break…

A fool to let you slip away
I chase you just to hear you say
You’re scared and that you think that I’m insane

The city look so nice from here
Pity I can’t see it clearly
While you’re standing there, it disappears
It disappears

It’s not right, not OK
Say the word that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break

Saw you sitting all alone
You’re fragile and you’re cold, but that’s all right
Life these days is getting rough
They’ve knocked you down and beat you up
But it’s just a rollercoaster anyway, yeah

It’s not right, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?
I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, not OK
Say the words that you say
Maybe we’re better off this way?

I’m not fine, I’m in pain
It’s harder everyday
Maybe we’re better off this way?
It’s better that we break, baby

2008-06-12T18:22:00.003+08:00

I wanna read Where Rainbows End now after an extract behind P.S I love you. (yeah I managed to stop crying and pick up the book again)
I haven't even read Jane Eyre! & Norwegian wood... and The wind-up bird Chronicle, When we were orphans, Never let me go and The remains of the day.

I haven't even tasted Kazuo Ishiguro's style of writing.
(Shucks, I suddenly feel like borrowing Mien Kampf from Sui.)

I backlogged on my reading since 2 years ago.
& I'm happy I can actually feel smart buying books and yet not reading them.
-
Anyway, I read my old blogs.
Overwhelming, but relieved. For a change.
There goes that girl who bitches (still does) and whines about how the world hates her.

ALTHOUGH, it's no doubt I still feel crying is the only way I can put any message across.
Just like a baby without any prior knowledge to the English language.
It is a significant action that bears no boundaries.

2008-06-12T13:00:00.006+08:00

I started reading P.S I love you at 6 cause I couldn't get to sleep the entire night.
& I've finally finished it in 7 hours, making only ONE toilet trip.
(yeahh, I'd rather read than watch)

I'm emotionally unstable right now.
& I can't stop crying.

At the beginning, it was just laughter.
Then it was laughter and tears
& it ended off with tears for more than half of that 503 paged book.

I'm so saddened by the letters he wrote.
I'd die if I was Holly.

I'm sorry I can't seem to like adsorb the part on living life and embracing memories.
I doubt I ever will if someone I loved my entirely life died on me.
Never.
I will never be that brave.

2008-06-12T03:15:00.001+08:00

tmd.

I'm not hurt.

2008-06-11T22:59:00.004+08:00

AFTER BLOGGING 3 TIMES TODAY,
I'VE DECIDED.

I'll make myself happy. :D
Feels ~~a little~~ really weird now that everthing's by-your-self.
Gets pretty awkward-lonely.

加油PEAPEA.
不要轻易放弃，否则对不起自己.

HAHAHA.
I'M GOING TO BE MY NUMBER 1.
Someone, please help.

Shucks, my brain's working in parts again and I have the sudden urge to scuba dive without an oxygen tank.

2008-06-11T21:27:00.009+08:00

DEFENCE MECHANISM

I haven't visited xanga in a long time. (long time is an understatement)
I ran away from it cause I didn't like it there.
It's filled with so much hurt, raw emotions and pain.

xanga//sweetdysphoria.
daintydeceits .
idyllicmisery.
integrateY.

We take sour sips from life's lush lips
And we shake, shake, shake the hips in relationships
Stomp out this disaster town
You'll put your eyes to the sun and say,
"I know you're only blinding to keep back what the clouds are hiding."

Once you are blinded, the blindfold stays.
Even after it's been removed, the first sight of light still blinds you.
This time, slowly & painfully.

everything good has to end.

2008-06-11T20:46:00.003+08:00

I find everything more attractive than that pile of materials.
I can't find anything more disgusting than studying.

God-awful.
Dreadful.
Tearful.

There will come a day when all of this is in my past
And there will come a day when you're out of my head at last
I'm trying not to fall
Damn it's such a long way down
But here I am

Yeah Yeah Yeah

Now I'm standing in the cold (Everything is said and done)
Atomic winter in my soul (From the absence of the sun)
The only remedy I know
Is I got to let you go

2008-06-11T20:21:00.002+08:00

I don't think I've gotten rid of my jet lag by waking up at 5pm.
I NEED TO STUDY. LIKE SRSLY SRSLY.

FOCUS!
Everything on my list is like STUDYING.

This week:
Friday: Study with Lina and Char (& sui and yi?) in school.
Saturday: Wl's hse
Sunday: Tuition ):

Next week:
Monday: Mock test. Ushering rehearsal
Tuesday: Mock test AGAIN
Thursday: Study with Quekie in School
Friday: Out with Table gang! (isit friday?)
Sunday: Tuition againnnn.

ohmytian, I'm so devastated I can listen to chinese songs.

EDITTTTTTTTTT: photos NO LONGER in a mess. loves anyway ♥

2008-06-10T23:20:00.011+08:00

I had a sleepless night before I went to school. TO MUG.

& I was so early, I saw HCultimate gettign ready for friendlys. & then Sui came before Weileong did. & they were like preparing for their timetrial by studying a totally different chapter from what was going to be tested.

Gave them their presents :D & I so love Huiyi's present! :D HEEEE.

Mugged with Mentoring people in E203. Made coutnless of toilet trips that hurt. My abckbone's starting to hurt tooooo. & I couldn't concentrate cause I was falling asleep. I had an interview the minute I woke up and everything was so giggly. :/ like, 公事公办 you know.

There was this part where they asked if I was matured or emotionally stable enough to manage the club. & I was telling Sui about it. I said "No." & she as like "WHY DID YOU SAY THAT." Then she agreed with me. Don't think anyone can make the assumption that he or she's fully matured or emotionally stable enough to handle something. & there would always be a time when emotions would crossover in the area of work.

But as usual, I'm abso-sure I can draw a thick line between work and play. & not let emotions do the ruling when managing work. Cool beans.

Oh wait. Drawing the line. Isn't that maturity? AIYA. point taken anyway. SUI'S SO PROUD OF ME :D GO PEARLYNNE. HAHAHA. She said I've grown so muh since Sec3. YEAH ABSOLUTELY. I don't cry so much anymore and I let things go much easily now. (not always a good thing)

Anyway, then we went to celebrate Huiyi's belated birthday in town. & did loads of catching up. Ate at Spageddies despite initial ideas to eat CHINESE FOOD cause we figured we tried Breeks 2x, Thai Express and The Coffee Connoisseur alr. The bill was like 86 bucks. DON'T WE ♥ SPLURGING ON FOOD?. edit: I MET YANGXUAN. HE WAS LIKE COMING TOWARDS ME! & the first thing I said to him was "DID YOU TURN 10 SHADES DARKER FROM WHEN I SAW YOU IN THE MORNING?" He had frisbee friendly with AC and was injured :O yay HCultimate. /edit. Then we went shopping at Far East for Huiyi's belt (failed) and Sui ended up getting a top and tube while Huiyi got a tube as well.

No shopping for me despite posters of "THE GREAT SINGAPORE SALE" (I saw one that wrote "SALES" hahhah) cause I've done so in London. I bet they were tmd cause I told them London sold tops for 1 pound =$3. :D & belts for 3 pounds = $9.

Anyway, we went Borders to get my P.S I love you book and we couldn't decide what to order at Coffee Club. So we asked the guy and he was like Sunrise. TMD, it tasted weird. So we took photos. photos. photos. I missed my camera after it went to belgium for 3 months! :D

THREESOME :D

3, 2, 1! HAPPY THREE FRIENDS.

Yi, Yi's board, Me and my pigpillow.

hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil

yi's request.

SUI!

Happy Birthday Baby. Love you plenty.
Sorry it wasn't on the 2nd of june.

AND THEN, we walked Sui to the DFS before we decided to queue for our cab at Far East. WE waited for like half an hour and then our turn came. It started rainign and we got on the cab. The cab driver was like "I hope you girls aren't going far." and I was like "Choa chu kang and Jurong?" and he was drove off saying "I was hoping you girls didn't say that."

"It's raining heavily and I'm very sleepy. I can't drive far."
"Just last week I got into a car accident at beach road" (HUIYI STARED AT ME.)
"I tell you what, why not I drive you guys to the nearest MRT station. It's cheaper that way."
"You all should take a train down to jurong then from there take a cab. It's so much cheaper."

UNCLE, IF I HAD INTENDED TO TAKE THE MRT DO YOU THINK I'D EVEN CHOOSE TO SIT IN A CAB. YOU NEVER THINK RIGHT? WE CHOSE TO CAB HOME CAUSE WE DIDN'T WANT THE TRAIN WHAT.

TMD uncle, I'm totally fine if you can't drive us in the rain or when it's dark or that you're sleepy. I can accept it and I totally pity you. But you shouldn't have driven off! At least wait for us to say NO and get off at the taxi stand right. I bet the person after us reached home half an hour earlier than us please.

So he dropped us off at Paragon where the people in line were 10x more than the cabs arriving. We were screaming and shouting before we decided to rain with the board to lucky plaza. & from there we waited for another cab.

tmd. took us a 45 mins more than what we needed actl.